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Hey Reader,

So much of what the wellness and personal development industries sell is this idea of a big, bold life where you are in control of everything, have been capital H Healed™️, and everything is Instagram-worthy and color coordinated.

If you've been around for any time at all you know that is deeply *not* my vibe. I'm much more of a full-spectrum, your mess is your magic, be weird and quirky and do what makes you happy kind of person.

Which, intellectually makes total sense. And yet, one of the biggest things my clients come to me with at the beginning of our time together is a question, a wondering, a worry that they are doing something wrong. Because if they aren't trying to be famous or uber rich, aren't interested in fitting into a smaller pants size, or don't have goals that sound impressive, then what are they supposed to work towards?

There's this underlying embarrassment that they aren't bolder or more extraordinary in their desires.

The point of healing and personal growth isn't to become someone you're not. Rather, it's being able to access your own life force - to be ALIVE, full stop, and actually experience what's in front of you, around you, and within you. It's saying yes because you mean it, not because you feel like you should. It's letting yourself be silly and spontaneous, and having the choice to move from joy and decide from your values, instead of obligation.

You can be deeply sincere and care so much, without being serious and heavy and rigid about it.

I just got back from a full week vacation, and it was truly lovely. I remember many years ago when I used to go on "vacation", but would bring my laptop with me and stress about needing to work the whole time, worried that everything was going to fall apart if I didn't give it my constant attention and vigilance.

I'd be in beautiful places with so much to explore, desperately searching for a wi-fi signal. There was no true relaxation, because I was always running disaster loops in my mind and thinking about all the things I should be getting done. Some vacation, sheesh.

This trip, the only times I opened my laptop was to log in to a livestream strength training class and to watch an episode of The Traitors. It's a world of difference to truly be IN my life, instead of planning and managing around it.

Healing isn't about becoming some polished, smoothed-out version of yourself. It's not a personality transplant (really, it's the opposite). It's being able to do the things you actually want to do without guilt. It's relaxing because you're actually present, and you have built the capacity in your nervous system for space, safety, and possibility (not "regulation").

I wasn't running disaster loops on this trip because I wasn't stuck in the old patterns that used to write them. I could just be in my life instead of managing it from a distance.

And that, my friend, feels like a massive win.

Also? My business is just fine 😆 Turns out it didn't need my constant monitoring and freaking out to be okay.

You can absolutely still do big, bold things in your life BTW.
Write the next great American novel (make it queer! make it a fantasy!).
Build a weird little business selling your weird little art.
Plan a niche trip like this one (IG link).
Train for a marathon.

The world is your oyster. The difference is choosing to do those things because you're genuinely stoked and lit up by them, not because you feel pressure to prove something or need to achieve it to feel okay with yourself.

If you find yourself feeling like you'll never be healed, check in with yourself:
What are you hoping that healing will create for you?
What are you waiting to experience until you reach that mythical place of fully healed?
What feels out of the realm of possibility?
Where could you bring what you truly want 1% closer to you today?
What tiny step, decision, or practice could you entertain to support you in this?

And in the meantime, try doing one small thing just for the joy of it today. It might be silly, or sweet, or deeply caring.

You build capacity for vitality and access to presence and possibility one moment at a time.

Love,
Kate

PS: Interested in working together? Reclaim your own aliveness through somatic coaching - I have one spot available starting in August 💜 - Click here for more information.

You're Invited:

In Person, September 17th-20th in Minnesota: I'm hosting an autumn equinox retreat and would love to have you there! We'll gather in the heart of Minnesota next to a beautiful lake and spend our days immersed in nature, practicing yoga, making art, and traversing the portal of the equinox together - integrating what has been and making space for the season ahead. There are 2 spots left - is one of them yours?

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