Monthly Roots: August Edition

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Hey Reader,

This month is my birthday month (shout out everyone who celebrates the whole month!). Every year as I grow closer to my solar return, I find myself reflecting on the year past, celebrating and mourning, honoring and integrating. I also pay close attention to the sparks of aliveness in me, the planted seeds ready to sprout, the dreams and desires asking for dedication and devotion for the year ahead.

The past few years haven't gone the way I thought they would at all - both personally and more collectively. No matter how much we plan, life will continue to surprise and throw unexpected circumstances our way.

One of the truths I hold is that what's here creates what's next. And we can spend a ton of time and energy fighting what's here, wishing we were somewhere else, or we can surrender to what IS to make space for what COULD BE.

I keep coming back to what it truly means to surrender, to face the unknown, to make decisions and go after what matters deeply while holding the expectations of how and when things will happen so, so lightly.

It can be wild what needs to happen in order to get out of our own ways. To create the space to do the things that make us feel alive, that stretch and grow and shape us into new shapes.

Particularly if it goes against the grain of what we've learned to do in order to fit in, to be seen as a good person, to form to the molds of our families, jobs, societies.

Surrender is a tool, a skill, a being state, a dance with creation that allows you release control and perfection, focus on what matters, and allow yourself to receive and be delighted along the way.

It's a skill you can learn and grow into alongside increasing your capacity for staying present and being with nuance, uncertainty, discomfort, and change.

Surrender is not a sign of defeat.

It doesn't mean you give up on what you want, or no longer take responsibility for what has been and what will be.

Surrender is not a passive act.

To fully surrender and be in a conscious state of "flow", to feel safe in uncertainty, requires the courage and capacity to work through the need to control, the ways you've learned to fit in and filter yourself, to grow your capability of holding discomfort and and staying present in the face of the unknown.

This happens not just in the mind, but in the body and nervous system. It's a process and practice of rewiring yourself (gently) from the inside out and choosing to face the doubts, fears, feelings, and confusion (fiercely) over and over again.

When our bodies feel safe and are able to relax and be present, it creates space for so many more conscious choices and possibilities in our lives.

This is why I do the work I do, and why I'm so committed to transformation on all levels - mind, body, energy.

When you expand your capacity to stay rooted and present even in the face of activation and intense sensation, it opens up new pathways of being and doing in each moment.

Some of the ways I'm moving with surrender right now (big and small) include:

• Navigating an unexpected infection with multiple antibiotics (I'm okay- and, it's required a couple of timeline adjustments as my capacity has been lower than usual)
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• Finally putting a podcast out in the world after several false starts over the years (letting things take the time they take is a perpetual lesson for me - look for that pod coming soon!)
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• Knowing a few things in my current schedule and configuration of teaching classes, contract work, and coaching in my own business need to change, but not having all the answers of 'how' yet (it's a daily check in and active surrender right now)
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• Being late to go see a movie because the food order we put in beforehand didn't come out on time (it got lost in the sauce, and I could feel the anxiety ramp up in my system before I checked in with all the parts who were scared of messing up)

Just to name a few IRL examples from the past few weeks!

This work has created so much capacity for me and my clients to anchor into self trust, surrender the hows and control and perfection, and build lives rooted in joy and vitality.

Surrender is fierce.
Surrender is courageous.
Surrender is a decision.

How will you dance with it today?

Love,
Kate

PS: I wrote this poem almost 4 years ago, and it feels appropriate it resurfaced in my notes app recently. I wrote it for me, but maybe it's for you too?

I surrender
​The illusions I had that control would keep me safe
Needing to know how before I commit
The urge to take care of others at the expense of my needs
Waiting for certainty before I dive in
The longing for a perfectly curated and aspirational life
Negotiating my worth to find safety and belonging
The belief that I need to become someone else in order to succeed
My deepest, most tender dreams and desires
The confusion that clouds what I know to be true
Wishing someone else would take responsibility for what I want
The wish for constant clarity
My hyper-independent, needs no one identity
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To the wisdom of my body and the wisdom of the earth
To the mystery and the wonder that awaits me
To being the one to chart the way and make a new path
To the cycles and seasons of life and death
To the possibility that it there is more available to me than I have ever imagined.

©2022 Kate Marolt

Reading, Watching, Listening from July:

📚Books:

Total Count: 17!
​Going on vacation for a week had me devouring so many books 🤓 I also read more thrillers and mysteries than usual - they are easier for me to read when it's daylight for so long!

A worthwhile read: The Beheading Game by Rebecca Lehmann - Anne Boleyn wakes up after being beheaded and sets off to figure out what happened. As someone who had a niche special interest in the wives of King Henry the 8th as a child (lol) and who loves magical realism, this was awesome. ⭐️4

Wanted to like it more than I did: The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix Harrow - overall an enjoyable read, but I think it got hyped up so much that it fell short of my hopes and expectations. The "surprises" weren't very surprising, and the prose style was not my favorite. ⭐️3.5

Still thinking about: Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke - touches on a lot of fascinating and relevant current parts of society, particularly around influencers and the difference between what's on screen and what they are like in real life, as well as this weird obsession with things being more pure and better in the past that rolls around every time there is increased uncertainty in the world. The ending left some to be desired for me and wishing there had been more dots connected. ⭐️4

Surprising winner: The Society for Soulless Girls by Laura Steven - dark academia, gothic mystery and thriller, but with some hilarity and a tone that reminded me a lot of the show Wednesday. ⭐️4.5

📺 Shows + Movies:
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🛶💞 Every Summer After - Really loving this trend of romance novel series' being turned into television series'. Didn't love how this season ended / wrapped things up, but looking forward to season 2!
🐻🍝 The Bear - I'm maybe 3 years too late on the hype but am thoroughly invested now. Have to watch in small doses so my nervous system can recover.
🐉🏰 House of the Dragon - still somewhat enjoying this one, though I'm kind of over them just constantly being at war. At this point I just want to see how it turns out.
🏝️💋👙 Love Island (USA + UK) - These were a journey. I'm glad the finales have happened, and I'm not sure I'll ever watch them again. But I was certainly entertained 😆
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🎶🎧 Listening:

Still on a big podcast kick, and also went down a riot grrrl rabbit hole that took me back:

Latest favorite podcast: Dreaming Against the Machine - dreaming up more just and equitable futures through the lenses of science fiction, current events and history, psychology, the laws of physics, and more. Check it out here. (I've listened to the first 7 episodes - I love them all!)

Revisiting Le Tigre, Sleater-Kinney, Bikini Kill, and more - these were some of my middle school and high school icons - no wonder I am the way I am (in a good way!).

How about you? What are you consuming? What recommendations would you send my way?

Current + Upcoming:

Virtual Quest: Free event, and it's a weird one in the best way. The Phoenix Quest runs August 9-12. 17+ speakers, each sharing what they burned and rebuilt from. When you have the courage to burn, you make space to rise from the ashes. No schedule, watch in any order, 10 to 30 minutes each, free gift from every speaker. You can hear me talk about The Funeral That Set Me Free. It ends with a burning ceremony during the Solar Eclipse on August 12. More info coming tomorrow. Get on the list here.

Online Retreat: Creativity isn't about being talented. It's about being willing. The Rethinking Creativity Retreat shows you how to redefine what creativity means for you, let go of perfectionism, and start creating in a way that actually feels good. It's free, online, and happening this month. Click here to register now and receive my class on Unhooking Creativity from Capitalism, along with other offerings!

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In Person: In September, I'm hosting an autumn equinox retreat and would love to have you there! We'll gather in the heart of Minnesota next to a beautiful lake and spend our days immersed in nature, practicing yoga, making art, and traversing the portal of the equinox together - integrating what has been and making space for the season ahead. There are 2 spots left - is one of them yours?

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